Feb 23 (Day 21)
WORDS OF WISDOM:
“Walk towards the sunshine, and the shadows will fall behind you.” — Mary Engelbreit
Day 21: Today marks the first day of my last week here at Kalari Rasayana. I don’t know whether I’m relieved or sad…Maybe it’s a little bit of both. I’ll confess, I miss my husband. I’m tired of the same food every day, tired of the disgusting glasses of medicine I have to drink both before and after meals. I’m definitely tired of the ghee! But I have met some remarkably kind people here who have all taken great care to watch over me, to nourish me and to make me feel safe here. (That’s no small feat when you realize how alarming some of these treatments can be.)
Everyone here is invested in my health. They are all quick with a smile and a “Good morning, Grace.” And they all watch your face for any sign of discomfort, which will always lead them to call the doctor immediately. Everyone has your back here, absolutely everyone (doctors, nutritionist, yoga instructors, pranayama guides, front desk staff, waiters, gardeners and maids).
The doctor is trying to unblock my channels, so I got to do the Dhanyamladhara treatment again this morning. (That’s the one with the medicinal tea being poured over your whole body, making you feel like you’re in a soothing, hot bath for 45 minutes.) I love this treatment; it’s one of my favorites. And we also did the Nasyam again as well. (“ghee up the nose”) The Nasyam is certainly unpleasant for the first 30 minutes, but it means I can breathe for the rest of the day with no issues which has really helped me relax.
Dr Sankar said something today that really resonated with me. He was trying to explain how careful I will have to be with my food for the next year or two until we can get my health reigned in. He said that when you are mentally tired, you feel you deserve a reward, so you want to eat. You say to yourself, “I need this,” or “I want this” and that is moment at which food becomes an issue. He stressed the importance of trying to short circuit that thought. Reward yourself with FUN instead of food.
It reminded me of an interview I saw with Kirstie Alley years back. She had been addicted to cocaine and decided to go to rehab. She said that the entire time she was in rehab she promised herself that if she could kick her $10,000 a week cocaine habit, she would spend the exact same amount on flowers for her house every week. It was her way of gaining something beautiful rather than losing something destructive. I never forgot that interview. Now, I just need to figure out what my “flowers” are and use them as my reward instead of food.
So far, it’s been a good day. Maybe I’m growing up…